


Fix You

by Kr1411 (orphan_account)



Category: Glee, The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Attempted suicide warning, Barry Allen and Sebastian Smythe are Twins, Gen, don’t read if you’re triggered by suicide, seriously, trigger warning
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-13
Updated: 2017-10-12
Packaged: 2019-01-16 16:01:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,877
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12345963
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/Kr1411
Summary: Barry and Sebastian Allen both were there the night their mother died, but the story’s they told were different.Eventually, after years of torment from his brother, Barry’s had enough, and decided he wanted to be free it all.





	Fix You

**Author's Note:**

> TRIGGER WARNING TRIGGER WARNING 
> 
> Seriously, guys, I can not stress this enough, if you guys get triggered by suicide, DO NOT READ.
> 
> In other words, I’m pissed off because Arrow got pushed back two hours because of freaking high school football on the CW (or at least where I live), so I have to watch it tomorrow. After all this waiting, too. Seriously, I’m so fucking pissed.

Sebastian Allen was always popular. Even after their mother’s murder, he kept his reputation higher than the rest of the student’s.

His twin, Barry Allen, was the exact opposite. He was never popular, but he was the smartest in his class. Unfortunately for him, that usually made him the target for bullies. What didn’t help was how open he was about his father’s innocence.

That’s what made the twins different. See, they both knew what happened, what _really_ happened, but Sebastian was never one to speak his mind, so he claimed his dad really _did_ murder his mother.

This killed Barry on the inside, Sebastian turning on his family like that. Barry was honest about what happened, but the only person who listened and believed him was Iris West.

She thought no one would make something as odd as what Barry said up, but Sebastian went up and told her that her dad really murdered his mom. Iris, knowing Sebastian, didn’t believe him.

This went on for years. By the time they were fourteen, though, Barry’s had enough of it. Somehow, Barry and Sebastian ended up with the West’s, assuming Joe pulled a few strings. Because of this, Sebastian would always make fun of him and taunt him because, well, who wouldn’t torment an assumed mad man?

“Why do you tell people what really happened? Really, it just kills your reputation, and mine, as well, by the way,” Sebastian would say, and Barry would just mumble a quick sorry, and walk away.

One day, when everyone was gone, Barry decided to try something. He’s never done it before, but he’s thought about it so many times that he couldn’t miss this opportunity.

Going to the kitchen, Barry grabbed a knife, put it to his wrists, and drew along, deep cut.

God, it was painful, and the blood was coming out _so fast_ , and he was scared that he did it wrong, that he nicked a vein, but all that mattered right then was covering it up.

Barry grabbed a washcloth and pressed it against his wrist, and went to the bathroom for the first aid kit.

Shakily, he opened it, fighting the urge to pass out. He got out a gauze pad and some wrap, and took the washcloth off, quickly replacing it with said items.

Once he finished wrapping the gauze, Barry looked at the clock. He still had time, he could get all this cleaned up in time. Sebastian had glee club practice, and Iris was probably shopping with her friends. Joe wouldn’t be back til midnight, at least.

Two hours later, Sebastian came home, and Barry greeted him with a smile, smiling because he got rid of the evidence just in time, and because he knew _Sebastian won’t suspect a thing_.

This went on for weeks. People were at the house less and less, and Barry would add more cuts to his growing collection on his wrist.

No one ever noticed, and Barry didn’t know whether to feel ecstatic or upset about it.

Sure, Sebastian came close to catching him without a shirt on once, but Barry made sure he didn’t see anything.

School didn’t make anything any better. Freshman year, getting bullied by Juniors and Seniors who caught wave of who he was and figured out how to tell Sebastian and Barry apart quickly, so they didn’t accidentally beat up the cool one.

Barry didn’t know how much longer he could take it. He’s been thinking about killing himself for quite some time now, different ways, ways he could get away with it, how to hide his own body so people wouldn’t notice he was gone until he was successfully… _gone_.

The nice thing about having a cop foster dad was Joe made sure they all knew where the guns were, so if he failed once, he could always go the quicker way out.

Barry would always spend time when he was alone planning, pondering, how he was going to leave the world. People didn’t really tend to notice, not when he was being quieter than a mouse in the back of the classroom.

Teachers were concerned, and tried to see what was wrong, and why their best student was suddenly not participating in class, but Barry just shrugged it off, claiming it was the bullies.

This silence started to seep into family dinners. Barry talked less and less at them each day, but it took a week for Iris and Joe to notice, thanks to Sebastian.

“Barry, you ok? I feel like you never talk anymore,” Iris said, the day before he was planning to do it.

Barry looked up at Iris, putting on a fake smile. “Yea, I’m fine, school’s just been tough,” he said, shrugging.

Sebastian scoffed. “I bet. You made yourself the example of a nerd the first day of school,” he said, and Barry hung his head.

“Sebastian, don’t talk to your brother like that,” Joe said, scolding Sebastian. Sebastian just shrugged, mumbling a false sorry.

“May I be excused? I’m not that hungry,” Barry asked, and Joe nodded. Barry thanked him and took his half-full plate to the sink, before making his way to his bedroom.

In 24 hours, he would be free, but he wanted to write some notes in advance.

Barry started with Joe, thanking him for all that he did for him in the past three years. Then he moved on to Iris, thanking her for believing in him when no one else ever could.

Then there was Sebastian.

_Sebastian,_

_I know life’s been hard for the both of us since that night, and, even though you may hate me, I want you to know that my suicide is not your fault. Yes, you may have tormented me since mom was murdered, but I don’t blame you. Telling people the truth was really risky, and even though you saw it happen, I understand why you told people dad killed her._

_Just know that I will always love you, and you are the best brother I could’ve asked for._

_Barry._

\-----

The next day came faster than expected. Barry participated in classes again, put on a happy demeanor, because _oh my god, i’m actually doing it today_.

Barry practically ran home. He never liked taking the bus, and they didn’t live to far from the school, so walking home worked out fine.

Opening the front door, Barry checked to make sure no one was there. He called out Joe’s name, Iris’, and Sebastian’s, but they were all gone.

_Perfect_.

Barry grabbed a steak knife from the kitchen, went upstairs, and locked the door.

_Oh my god, I’m actually doing this_ , he thought, holding the knife up to his wrist.

And then he started slicing it, in a way he never has before.

\-----

Sebastian couldn’t shake the feeling that something was wrong. Not just wrong, but wrong with Barry.

Barry seemed… _off_ today. Too chipper, and he hasn’t acted that way since middle school.

Actually, when he thought about it, Barry’s been off for weeks. Long sleeves, flinching whenever someone looked over at him, attempting to keep his wrists hidden, and…

_Oh my god_.

Sebastian suddenly realised what was going on, and decided, _screw it_ , he had to know if Barry was ok. Glee club could wait.

Sebastian ran home faster than he ever had before. He just had to know he was wrong, he had to know that Barry wasn’t hurting himself.

Swinging the door open, not bothering to close it, Sebastian called out, “/ _Barry_?/” and got no reply.

Barry was home, Sebastian saw him start to walk home. He ran up to Barry’s bedroom, and found a bunch of notes on his desk.

All of them addressed to someone else.

Reading over one of them, Sebastian realised what they were.

/No, no, no, not Barry,/ he thought as he ran to the bathroom. Yanking on the doorknob, Sebastian found the door to be locked.

“Barry, you better open up this door right now, or I swear to god…” Sebastian screamed, tears flowing down his face.

When there was no answer, Sebastian /literally kicked down the door, which, in other scenarios, he would’ve thought was cool.

Not right now.

Sebastian whipped out his phone, running over to is unconscious twin, and holding onto the multiple cuts, trying as he could to stop the bleeding.

“ _911, What’s your emergency?_ ” The voice operator asked.

“My brother, I just found him unconscious, and possibly dead, his pulse is very weak, please, help,” Sebastian pleaded, taking his shirt off to try to stop the bleeding on one wrist as he tied a towel on the other.

“ _Alright, we’ll be there as soon as we can, what’s your address, sir?_ ” the voice asked, and Sebastian rattled off the address.

They hung up, and Sebastian finished tying his shirt on Barry.

“Stay with me, Barry, please, don’t die,” he sobbed. He’s been a terrible brother, but it took his twin trying - and maybe succeeding - to kill himself for him to notice.

About two minutes later, Sebastian heard sirens and people rushing through the still open front door. They ran up to the bathroom, and forced Sebastian out of the way before checking Barry over and putting him up on a stretcher. One of the medics put his arm around Sebastian, guiding him out to the ambulance.

“Is it ok if we ask you a few questions?” he asked softly. Sebastian nodded, letting the guy help him into the ambulance alongside his brother.

The ambulance ride was quick, but it seemed like took forever. Sebastian wanted it all to end, the questions, the fear for his brother’s life, he just wanted to go home, forget this ever happened.

The hospital called Joe, and informed him what was going on, and he was currently on his way.

Joe was in tears, using his cop car so he could successfully pass over the speed limit and not get arrested. Why would his son do this to himself? Why didn’t he notice his son was hurting?

Joe got into the hospital, and saw Sebastian sitting in the waiting room. He sat next to Sebastian, who’s face was flushed with tears.

“You ok, son?” Joe asked, and Sebastian shook his head. “Did you call Iris yet?” Sebastian asked, wetly.

Shit, he didn’t call Iris. “Not yet,” Joe said, pulling out his phone, putting it on his lap. “Was he still… with us, when you found him?” Joe asked shakily. Sebastian thought about it, then nodded his head.

“Barely. His breathing was heavy, and his pulse was weak,” Sebastian said, almost inaudible. He was clearly traumatized by the whole thing.

Joe put an arm around Sebastian, and Sebastian leaned over and started bawling into Joe.

“This is all my fault, Joe, it’s all my fault,” Sebastian weeped. Joe rubbed Sebastian’s back.

“Shh, it isn’t your fault, I’m sure there’s other reasons,” Joe assured Sebastian, soothingly. Sebastian didn’t get to say anything out, because at that time, a nurse came out, and said,

“Family of Barry Allen?”

Slowly getting up, Sebastian grabbed Joe’s hands, and, reluctantly, they were off to see Barry, but, in a way, neither of them could prepare themselves for what they were about to see.

 


End file.
